In a world where speech is essential—at home, school, work, and social events—my experience with communication is significantly different. Since first grade, I have lived with a stutter, not because I struggle to find words, but because I struggle to express them. As a child, I never received therapy, and my peers often mocked my stutter by imitating my repetitions, which made me feel hurt and out of control.

Throughout my life, I've tried to hide or overcome my stutter, mostly unsuccessfully. It has greatly affected my life choices, often causing me to avoid or withdraw from situations that require speech, like phone calls, classroom discussions, job interviews, and social events. This difficulty also made forming friendships harder and made me more vulnerable to teasing and bullying.

I compare my struggle to a train carrying messages from the brain to the mouth. In my case, it feels like this train is weighed down by stones, which hinders smooth communication and causes broken, pressured speech. This struggle often leads to me running out of breath, pretending to forget my words, or avoiding speaking situations altogether.

To better understand and manage my stutter, I researched articles and books before recognizing the importance of professional assistance. This prompted me to enroll in a 7-week speech therapy program in Edmonton, Canada, where I learned to better control my speech and cope with stuttering. The therapy improved my confidence and speech, though I still face challenges, especially when I am emotionally stressed.

My journey with stuttering is not just about fluency but about overcoming fear and shame and becoming stronger. I believe my stuttering serves a purpose, and I will eventually discover its reward. I've learned that stuttering is only a handicap if I let it be. Through good and bad days, my confidence in myself grows. This is my journey, my body, and I refuse to give up.